Valentine Thoughts

There are a lot of photos of couples going around today. For this month, as one of my little resolutions, I've been (trying to) write down times that Nik makes me smile. I've kept the list in my planner. It's all little things like "when I'm editing videos of us and you're smiling cutely in them." I took all those little things and wrote them up into a cute note that I'm going to give him later along with his favorite candy. Let's hope he's not reading this before he gets home.

Sometimes it's hard to know what to say to my partner for life on special occasions like Christmas or Valentine's Day. I am so thankful for him and all he does but how do I express it? A friend on mine on Instagram shared today that she sometimes feels the holiday guilt of not living up to the gestures of others, for example "Should I be making heart shaped pancakes?" I definitely don't want to feed or fall into that thinking either.

Then again, there's all the ways this holiday can be isolating to anyone who doesn't have someone to celebrate with. Before university, I used to celebrate Valentine's with my mom and friends by making and decorating heart shaped cookies. My second year in college I made the cookies all by myself and cried because I missed everyone so much. I cried the next year because the cookie cutters I used had disappeared in the move we made that year. Man, college was such an emotional time. It must have been the lack of sleep.

I think I've come to the conclusion that Valentine's Day should be fun, so today I'm doing the best I can with what we've got. I'm doing my best, like I try to on every holiday, to take time to be thankful. I shared candy with friends. I'm making a big deal out of my sweetheart and the fact that this is our second in-person Valentine's day. I texted my lovely parents. I enjoyed chocolate chip cookies without any pressure to make our traditional option of glazed sugar cookies. And, for one last dose of internet honesty: here is a cute picture of me and my love from a few weeks ago. Tonight we'll just be rockin' sweatpants.